Friday, April 25, 2008

Revision Process

I choose to write my final mediation paper on plastic surgery. At first I struggled to find a way to mediate the two sides. You have the people who are for plastic surgery and then you have the people against plastic surgery. Finally, I came to a conclusion that only reconstructive plastic surgery should be preformed. This type of surgery is different from cosmetic surgery, because it is preformed on abnormal structures of the body, caused by birth defects, developmental abnormalities, trauma or injury, infection, tumors, or disease. Cosmetic surgery is just preformed to enhance appearance.

Although this subject had a good amount of information, I found it hard to organize my thoughts and paragraphs. There are two different types of plastic surgery and I was not sure if I should talk about those firsts or include them into my pros and cons paragraphs. The revision process really helped me out in that aspect. I also struggled to write a conclusion/mediation paragraph at the end of my paper. I found it difficult to say cosmetic surgery should not be performed at all, while reconstructive surgery should be preformed. Many of the websites I looked at had such good things to say about cosmetic surgery, and writing a paper about how it should not be preformed was difficult.

After I had written my rough draft, I brought it into class and a class mate revised my paper. She helped me organize my flow and thoughts better. I also turned in a copy to my teacher, and she revised my paper. Missy made lots of corrections throughout my paper. She helped me fix sentence fragments, and she pointed out grammatical mistakes I had made in my paper. When I was talking about the negatives of plastic surgery, she helped me realize that I had some biased statements in my paragraph. She also pointed out where I needed to add more information about acquired deformities, because I had left out information on that topic. Missy’s revision along with the help of my peers in my class really helped me write a better paper. Having viewpoints from other people really helps your paper out. Sometimes I become blinded at the mistakes I have made, but with the help of others I am able to correct those mistakes.

Another benefit of the revision process is where you are able to see the strong points in your paper. Having someone tell you that your introduction is strong helps you know you have a strong opening to your paper.

I enjoyed writing this mediation paper. At times I struggled with some aspects of the paper, but through revision and careful analysis of the paper I was able to write a strong paper. I do not believe people realize the importance of revision. It is used in everything in life, from revising papers in English class to revising a business plan for a company.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Barack Obama's Speech

Obama's speech is filled with emotion. He has a very passionate message that he is trying to get across to the people of the United States. He mentions how he as family members from every race and every hue. He is trying to relate to everyone in the United States. Obama condemns his reverend's comments about racism, but he talks about how he knows his reverend is a great person who introduced him to his Christian faith. He talks about the complexity of race and he uses powerful words such as: humiliation, doubt, fear, anger, and bitterness to describe African Americans' feelings. His language is very strong throughout the speech. He speaks with authority and urgency when he talks about how America's problems can be solved. I believe the message he was trying to send had an impact on both blacks and whites.